Am I married... or not?
Married in London, by Janis Ian
Hi all,
Thank you for joining me for this week’s song, “Married in London”, by Janis Ian. If you’d like to hear the song before you read the background, I’ve included a YouTube video below the article.
Below, you’ll find my interpretation of the lyrics (written in italics). Comments and questions are welcome. For Japanese students, vocabulary words in bold are provided in Japanese below. TOEFL (PBT) 450+, Eiken 2, CEFR B1.
(531 words)
Today’s song is Married in London. It was written in 2006 by singer/songwriter Janis Ian. In the video, Janis explains what it was like, going with her soon-to-be wife to shop for wedding dresses, going to Canada and being congratulated, and then returning to the U.S. where it was not possible to get married.
I’ve added subtitles to the video, and I suggest that you watch it. In this article, however, I will focus on the lyrics of the song (begins at 2:29).
In 2006, countries around the world had different laws about same-sex marriage. The lyrics talk about some of the problems that same-sex married couples face, one of which is not knowing what to write for the question, “Are you married?”
The song
We’re married in London
But not in New York
Spain says we’re kosher
The States say we’re pork
People who follow the Jewish religion eat food that follows traditional Jewish law (kosher food). One of the things that are not allowed is pork or anything that includes meat from a pig. Here, it’s a metaphor for the fact that Spain recognized same-sex marriages, but the U.S. did not.
We wed in Toronto
The judge said “Amen”
And when we got home
We were single again
The judge in Canada said “Amen” which means he gave the couple the legal right to be known as a married couple.
It’s hard being married
And living in sin
Sometimes I forget
Just which state I am in
In some religions, it is a sin to be homosexual. For example, according to teachings of the Catholic church, Catholic believers must confess the sins they have committed. Living together (and not married) is thought to be a sin, and it is sinful for two people of the same sex to get married. Here, she’s married but she’s not allowed to be. Which sin should she confess? She would be a mess (very confused).
Thank God I’m not Catholic
I’d be a mess
Trying to figure out
What to confess
My passport in Sweden
Says I’ve got a wife
Amsterdam tells me
I’m partnered for lifе
But back in America
Land of the free
I’m a threat to
Thе national security
For many years in U.S. history, people who were gay or lesbian could be blackmailed. They could lose their jobs, the place they lived, and their family might turn against them. Because they might be forced to tell government secrets, they were not allowed to work in government or the military. They were considered to be a danger to the safety of the country.
If I were a frog
Here is what I would say—
It’s hard being green
It’s hard being gay
In the 1970s and 80s, there was a very famous frog named Kermit. He was a hand puppet introduced by Jim Henson. Kermit appeared on TV on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show for many years. One of his most famous songs was It’s not Easy Being Green.
But love has no color
And hearts have no sex
So love where you can
And fuck all the rest
In other words, it’s okay to love someone, and it doesn’t matter what other people think.
Grammar point
To wed (SOMEONE) (often used in newspapers)
a wedding (n.) (ceremony)
To marry (SOMEONE)
To get married TO (SOMEONE) (not with)
marriage (n.)
Questions:
Did anything in this song (or Janis Ian’s story in the video) surprise you?
In Japan, attitudes toward same-sex marriage have changed a lot in the past 20 years. Have they changed in your culture/society? If so, what do you think are some of the reasons for that change?
Vocabulary
Jewish religion ユダヤ教
sin 罪
confess 告白する
to blackmail (someone) 恐喝、脅迫する
“It’s not easy being green”
Louise, this song captures it so well—pride on the page, indeed. Interestingly, I recently created a poetry piece using song titles by Janis Ian, just in May.
Reading this also brought back one of the most meaningful moments of my life as an employee: in November 2001, I was honored to deliver the official statement of Germany’s largest queer advocacy organization (LSVD e.V.) to the Bundestag, on the day they voted for the Registered Partnership Law. That vote opened the path for legal recognition of queer partnerships here, and later paved the way for full marriage equality.
And yet—while laws change, culture shifts more slowly. Between 1994 and 2001 we saw major legal progress in Germany. Still, beneath the surface, unconscious biases, cultural stereotyping, and deep-seated homo- and transphobia remain stubborn. Yes, for younger generations in urban spaces, life is much more open today. And still—when you live among your own generation and those above and below (in my case, Baby Boomers and Gen Y), you witness how little some underlying attitudes have shifted, especially in rural and provincial areas.
The old patterns—shaped by the prudishness and bigotry of the 1950s and 1960s under Adenauer’s conservative postwar era—run deep. They were passed down, often unexamined. And they linger.
This is why visibility, storytelling, and reminders like Janis Ian’s song remain so vital. Because law alone is never enough—hearts and minds must follow.
I'm glad she felt fully accepted even if it was only fleeting. I imagine that's more than some gay couples have felt over the course of their lifetimes.